Dear Qui Talks: Living my truth!

Dear Qui Talks,

Are you really living your truth? I stumbled upon this question because I just realized I am finally living my truest self. I am living without any influences and unapologetically.

I say this because, I have officially disconnected from the world unintentionally. I have posted a few letters about disconnecting from social media but amidst that I have stopped watching TV, checking the news, and removed myself from all social media platforms except Facebook from time to time. I did not know, I was so disconnected until overhear a conversation about the school shooting in Florida. That is when a light came on and I realized, as a journalist, I am disconnected from the world. All of my responses and reactions are all from my truest feelings. They are not tainted by what I have seen or watched. I am living and dressing the way I want to.

I’ve also realized that I laugh and live differently. Watching people in their everyday life is amazing to me. The reactions of others are astonishing. I would love to explain the difference I see but I am currently unable to put them into words. All I can say is disconnect for a week and tell me what you see.

I have a lot more joy. I didn’t say happy because that can be taken away instantly. I have internal joy because I have given my mind and body time to develop joy. I have replaced social media and TV with things that bring me joy (i.e.- writing). Because I have found joy in those items, I actually look forward to the time I can go do those activities. Happiness is temporary because whatever is bringing happiness at that moment, a small part of your mind knows it will be taken away soon. That is why happiness lives on the surface. Living your actual truth, being your truest self everyday brings joy. Your truest self can not be taken away unless you allow it to be.

These are just small things I think about. I am living my truth. You either like it or not. As long as I am not hurting anyone and spreading peace, joy and love….then I am OK.

Talkers, are you living your truth?

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Dear Qui Talks: You are only fighting yourself!

Dear Qui Talks,

We are only in a battle with only ourselves! This is why I say that. When you are mad at someone and they are not bothered by your demeanor, 9 out of 10 they do not know that you are mad at them or they just do not understand why you are so upset. Another point, is how we hold what was said or done unto us years ago but still affects our current life.

Now, do not get me wrong, I myself still remember negative things that someone has told me. I still look in the mirror 20 years later, replaying that exact moment to see if anything has changed since the last insult. If nothing has changed, I get upset and start mentally beating on that one issue.

This is why I say we are in a battle with ourselves. The person that told me, what he did not like about my body probably does not even remember what he told me. Or if he does, I highly doubt they are sitting at home hoping I wake up every morning still trying to change that one defect (according to him) he did not like.

I am only beating on myself. I am the only one losing sleep and blocking my blessing because of an insecurity I never knew I had until someone introduced it to me. They are living their life, whether good or bad, and no where near concerned about something they said to me 20 years ago.

Another reason why we are in a battle with ourselves is when you are having a good day and a stranger lashes out at you, confusion and laugher is your response. Whatever issue that person is going through has nothing to do with you. That is why you laughed. They are getting upset with the wrong person and cursing all those who cross their path. Resulting in missing their blessing. What if you were the God-given solution to their problem?

Now reverse the role! How many times have you been upset with something and lash out on someone else? This all consist of you being in a battle with yourself. The person you grumble at has nothing to do with your situation. Nothing has changed, you are still upset, and your situation/problem still exist.

What do you do?

Well, as I have mention in many post, sometimes you just have to let go. If something, someone said really bothered you; evaluate it and embrace it.

Embrace all of your imperfections and decisions. It will help you live a better life. Others are less likely to stir up your emotions when you sincerely accept who you are; beauty and beast.

I actually take time out to look in the mirror for 15mins without any clothes, makeup, hair, etc… I do this, so I can know and love me entirely without any disguise. I even make silly and ugly faces just to be able to say, “well at least I do not look like this!” I also do the same when I get fully dressed, so I can tell myself “damn, girl you clean up nice!”

This world has enough nonsense trying to destroy it. I refuse to be destroyed by the power someone’s tongue. I refuse to keep myself in darkness and uncertainty because of what flesh has told me. I am only battling myself and no one else. I am only sheltering myself. I am only shaming myself. I am only cursing myself. I am blocking my blessing. I am doing everything to myself because of others. No one is living in pity with me.

So, today I decide to embrace it all and live for me. I will not battle myself anymore. Peace, joy, and love is all I long for, now!

Talkers, how many of you guys are in a battle with yourself because of others? When will you let go of what others has told you? Will you continue to let it be your story?

Dear Qui Talks: Fear is a Tunnel You Must Travel Through!

Dear Qui Talks,

I just read an amazing blog entry about facing your fears. One sentence that stuck out most – “Something greater is on the other side of your fear!”

I love that sentence! How many of us want to do something in our life but afraid of failing, leaving home, taking a risk, or even succeeding? There are so many things that holds us back from our true purpose. Only because we are afraid or do not fully believe.

This morning, while reading the bible. I stumble on two verses that spoke to me.

(John 1:6-7 – There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him.)

We all have a special light shining over us. Fear is the darkness that overshadows us as we continue the journey to our purpose. Many of us can see what darkness awaits, but we are reminded that the darkeness will not overcome. The light will always shine brighter and pierce through the darkness. All we have to do is take the first step and prepare yourself to be the warrior you are made to be.

Fear is just that dark tunnel you have to travel through to make it to the other side. We’ve all heard ot before; “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” Who is strong enough to make it through?

Talkers, how many of you guys are straddling the fence between safety or taking a risk? Are you weak or strong? I’ll let you figure that one out!

Dear Qui Talks: Woman vs Women

Dear Qui Talks,

This is a cliché post. I have read so many blog entries and heard conversations about the way women treat each other. Funny thing is that we are all aware of this phenomenon but we conticontinuously treat each other as enemies.

Think about it! We as women, of all race have to battle the man just to be equivalent to them. So why do we keep scowling, giving side eye, or size another female when we are in the presence of each other. We should encourage, elevate, and educate each other.

Again this is a cliché post, because this is something we all talk about. I have found myself doing the same when I am around other women. I secretly feel intimidated asking myself, “what is she looking at me? ” – or even creating stories in my head thinking she may not like me. (She doesn’t even know me. How did I get to that?)

Now ,when I say intimidated, I do not mean feeling less than. When I say intimidated, I mean to see a woman in the same room that I work hard to get into makes me know that you were as hard as I did to get into the same room. Now, you are competition instead of an alliance and that’s where the intimidation stems.

We, as women, quickly judge one another because of the way a woman is dressed, makeup, hair, body shape, circle of friends, and even skin tone. We judge off of things that has nothing to do with a person’s actual personality.

Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely guilty of this. I would stay quiet in the presence of another woman, but if a guy is around I became a Chatty Cathy. Only because I wanted them to see my intelligence level and the power I have as a female.

Why is it so important that I show my broad personality to a man but remain shutdown in the presence of a woman?

Since I started questioning all of these things, I decided to start giving women compliments. If I am around a female, I will give them atleast one compliment pertaining to what they are wearing, physical appearance, or even things they say. This has lowered the iron walls, we as women acquire at birth. These compliments are a way of saying; “I come in peace.”

I give this one for free:

“Men always ask, what do women want. The answer is, to be complemented. All women love compliments. Try it out! If you are ever in a room full of women, compliment 3 of them and see how the energy changes.”

We all have a reason the be uptight, but why let our stubborn “society” taught ways block a blessing that you may give another person or even recieve. You never know who’s day you may turn around…or vise versa.

My lady Talkers, lets all compliment each other. We are a force together. Get in formation, the battle has begun!

Dear Qui Talks: Millennials aren’t dumb!

Dear Qui Talks,

Millennials aren’t dumb, we are just consuming too much information in a short period of time. That has forced up to give up and move at our own pace. Some may be living slower than others. However, we are just trying to enjoy the life God has given us. Nonetheless, give us a chance to show our truest skills. We’ll impress you, I PROMISE!

Talkers, how many of you are millennials?

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