Diary

Dear Qui Talks: You are only fighting yourself!

Dear Qui Talks,

We are only in a battle with only ourselves! This is why I say that. When you are mad at someone and they are not bothered by your demeanor, 9 out of 10 they do not know that you are mad at them or they just do not understand why you are so upset. Another point, is how we hold what was said or done unto us years ago but still affects our current life.

Now, do not get me wrong, I myself still remember negative things that someone has told me. I still look in the mirror 20 years later, replaying that exact moment to see if anything has changed since the last insult. If nothing has changed, I get upset and start mentally beating on that one issue.

This is why I say we are in a battle with ourselves. The person that told me, what he did not like about my body probably does not even remember what he told me. Or if he does, I highly doubt they are sitting at home hoping I wake up every morning still trying to change that one defect (according to him) he did not like.

I am only beating on myself. I am the only one losing sleep and blocking my blessing because of an insecurity I never knew I had until someone introduced it to me. They are living their life, whether good or bad, and no where near concerned about something they said to me 20 years ago.

Another reason why we are in a battle with ourselves is when you are having a good day and a stranger lashes out at you, confusion and laugher is your response. Whatever issue that person is going through has nothing to do with you. That is why you laughed. They are getting upset with the wrong person and cursing all those who cross their path. Resulting in missing their blessing. What if you were the God-given solution to their problem?

Now reverse the role! How many times have you been upset with something and lash out on someone else? This all consist of you being in a battle with yourself. The person you grumble at has nothing to do with your situation. Nothing has changed, you are still upset, and your situation/problem still exist.

What do you do?

Well, as I have mention in many post, sometimes you just have to let go. If something, someone said really bothered you; evaluate it and embrace it.

Embrace all of your imperfections and decisions. It will help you live a better life. Others are less likely to stir up your emotions when you sincerely accept who you are; beauty and beast.

I actually take time out to look in the mirror for 15mins without any clothes, makeup, hair, etc… I do this, so I can know and love me entirely without any disguise. I even make silly and ugly faces just to be able to say, “well at least I do not look like this!” I also do the same when I get fully dressed, so I can tell myself “damn, girl you clean up nice!”

This world has enough nonsense trying to destroy it. I refuse to be destroyed by the power someone’s tongue. I refuse to keep myself in darkness and uncertainty because of what flesh has told me. I am only battling myself and no one else. I am only sheltering myself. I am only shaming myself. I am only cursing myself. I am blocking my blessing. I am doing everything to myself because of others. No one is living in pity with me.

So, today I decide to embrace it all and live for me. I will not battle myself anymore. Peace, joy, and love is all I long for, now!

Talkers, how many of you guys are in a battle with yourself because of others? When will you let go of what others has told you? Will you continue to let it be your story?

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