Dear Qui Talks: Have you ever googled, “What should I do with my life?”

Dear Qui Talks,

Have you ever googled, “what should I do with my life?”

So I had a co-worker a few years back that told me she did not know what she wanted to do with her life; she googled what to do.  I look at her with a puzzled face because I did not understand how she did not have a passion for anything. I asked her about her past childhood activities that she enjoyed the most. She named a sport but said she never wanted to go pro. It was just something she enjoyed doing. I never understood how someone did not have a passion for anything. Nothing lite a fight in her stomach. (You know that thing you love to do that you get excited when you are presently at the moment.)

Until I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a journalist after leaving my comfortable life in NYC to move to Los Angeles….


Chapter 1

I never thought moving to California was going to change my life so drastically. Whoever thought I would be living my biggest fear. What is your biggest fear? Now think about being in the presences of that fear, right now!

Well, that is my life now! My biggest fear is being homeless.

Yup, I am homeless, living in my car and only a few people know. My family doesn’t even know and I speak to them every day. Crazy, right! Plus, I haven’t paid my car note in 4 months so I may be losing that too. Crazy how I quit everything I had in New York City just to lose it all after moving to California. My hopes and dreams; CRUSHED…or is this happening on purpose?

Let’s start from the beginning.

I am living in New York, but not the city. I lived across the bridge in a small town named Springfield. I worked in New York City at the Empire State Building. I was a marketing manager. I have been promoted 3 times within the year of 2016. By this time, I was back in school at BMCC obtaining a degree in communication studies.

This was the game plan: I would finish my associates at BMCC and get my bachelors at a school in California. By August 2017, I would move to California to start the fall semester in California.

So, I thought!

During the holiday season, work was extremely crazy, for varies reasons. I was just promoted and transferred to another department. I went from being an assistant to a full-time manager. Did I mention it was Holiday season? We are understaffed on both manager and employee ends. Plus, sales are greater than last year. I haven’t had a day off. I had to train and run the entire department on my own. -All of this at the number 1 tourist attraction; Empire State Building.

By the end of the season, the entire department as a whole was exhausted, including the actual building and the rodents that lived in it. We had so many leaks and rodent spotting by the beginning of January, we all started throwing our hands. There were only three managers that operated the department. We also had a few leads that would assist on certain days.

By the end of January, both managers quit, leaving myself to operate the entire store on my own. To make matters worse, I had the pleasure of working side by side the vice president of the company. I had to run the entire department and be the model department for the entire building.

The first week of February, I had a meeting with the Vice President about another promotion and raise. By the end of our meeting, I got a 10k raise. (I knew I was valuable. I knew I should have asked for more, but I accepted the amount and position they offered me.)

I kid you not! Immediately following, I called my friend and told her…”I need to escape!” We immediately booked two flights to California.

Since we took the red-eye to California, we had a whole unplanned day. We got a rental and just drove around California looking at future places to rent. By then, I had six more months left until I will be moving.

The day ended early. Since we’ve previously been to Los Angeles, there wasn’t much to see anymore. By the end of the day, we’ve only visited an old friend at his studio, ate lunch and took a long nap. We were still jetlagged and overworked.

Saturday, we drove from Downtown LA to Glendale, Burbank, Long Beach and back to Culver City looking at neighborhoods with apartments for rent. While in Culver City, my best friend called her collegemate asking to see her apartment. Since she had sometime before work, we head to see the inside of an apartment in California. Upon entering her home, my heart sparked! “This is definitely a bachelorette pad. This is my dream apartment”, I exclaimed!

“Really!? The apartment next door is vacant,” said the old college mate.

“No way! Can I see it?”…I said with extreme excitement

“Sure, let me call my landlord….He said the door is open, we can check it out and he will meet us in 20 minutes”…Said the old college mate.

“OMG…let’s go!”

We all went next door. I looked up, saw “Apartment number 3” and opened the door. I swear I heard angels sing. That apartment was everything I ever wanted. One bedroom, one bathroom, newly renovated, natural light that illuminated the entire place, fully furnished, marble counters in the kitchen and bathroom, red and black living room set, brand new memory foam mattress, WALK-IN CLOSET, private patio with a grill, and my neighbors consisted of a girl and two boys from New York City. (A piece of home away from home) “I must have this apartment!” I exclaimed!

After walking into euphoria, the landlord arrived. A man wearing all white, with shoulder-length hair and a huge smile on his face. Now, writing this out….” Did I meet Jesus?”

“You like it?” Said the landlord.

“Like it…this place was made for me. Everything I ever wanted in my own apartment is in this place!”

“How much is it?” I asked!

“$2200 a month with everything included. Electricity, water, heat, cable, internet and all the furniture you see here. If you want it, I will give you an application and tell you the results within 24 hours.”

“Well, I am looking to move in August. Will this place still be available?” Wishfully hoping!

Retracting his smile, the landlord explained, “This place will go fast. Like I said, it has everything. Someone may get it before then.”

I knew he was right. That apartment was anyone’s dream apartment. Everything in my mind and body was telling me to apply.

I thought; “If I get approved, that would mean that I would be moving to California in less than a month. Do I have the money to move? I mean, I had enough to leave and I can always borrow some with a loan.

Take a risk, try something new! The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward…they say! If it is supposed to happen, I will get approved and will be able to officially leave NYC to start a new life. Plus, my hosting career will flourish here. I will be able to focus and make new connections. Fine, I will apply!”

“Yes, let’s fill out the application,” I said to the landlord.

He gave me the application. After filling it out, he said, “I will run a credit check and if all goes well, I will call you about your approval and I do require a deposit of half the rent.”

“Oh, credit check! Well, I can tell you that I have a ton of school loans that has a huge effect on my credit score.” I quickly explained.

With a smile on his face, the landlord said, “Ok, I will make note of that. Good luck! I will speak to you tomorrow.”

“Great! Do you mind if I look around a little longer? I just want to take this all in for a few.” I asked!

“Sure, stay as long as you want. Just lock up before you leave.” The landlord left and I started to run and jump throughout the apartment for another hour.

After leaving “My apartment,” I just knew that place would be mine but the thought of that credit check kept popping up in my mind. I had a debt of $80,000 in school loans. I have been denied credit before so I may be denied again. I have been making some payments and I pay my credit cards and car note on time, so I should be good, I thought to myself.

At dinner, all I kept talking about was getting approved for my dream apartment. My best friend reassured me, “If it is yours, you will get it. I have a feeling you will be approved.”

In hindsight, I couldn’t help but also think “If I get approved, I will be moving within a month. I have never done anything so drastic. I just got promoted at work, started school again, and I would be moving across the country. Am I ready for that?”

Sunday morning, the day my destiny will be determined. I woke up in our hotel room, shouting, “Today is the day! I am either going to be living here in a month or staying in NYC!”

We got dressed and headed to Burbank for the best “green tea pancakes in town.” Too nervous to eat, I picked at my food and clenched onto my coffee; sipping in between every thought. As I turn to my friend to say, he still hasn’t called, my phone rings.

“It’s the landlord!” I shouted!

“Hello!” I said calmly, after taking a deep breath.

“Hi, Kyrah! I have good news.” Said, the landlord. “You have been approved!”

“OMG, really….Yayyyy!”

“Yup, when are you looking to move?” Asked the landlord.

“Um, well today is the 5th of February. I would like to give advance notice my job enough notice. So, I would like to move the first week of March.” I said sporadically while trying to see if that date would really be feasible.

“Ok, great. I need a deposit today and we can move on from there!”

“OMG, thank you so much. I am extremely excited!” I said with the biggest smile on my face.

“Of course, Welcome to California!”




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