Diary

Dear Qui Talks: I Feel Like I Am Being Pushed Against The Wall!!!

Dear Qui Talks,

Yesterday, I woke up happy and ready to take over the world. I sent out over 40 emails to different media publications and blogs looking to hire on-air correspondents the day before. So, I woke up excited to see who has responded to me. I am experienced, talented, and definitely, have what everyone is looking for. Walk to my living room, turn on my computer, and log into my email. Loading….and….no new emails. I think to myself, maybe it is still early because it is only 10am. Some offices do not open until 10 am and they need time to settle in.

I continue on with my day because I have edits that are due in a few hours and I still have to post on my Instagram for my daily videos. A few hours pass by, it is now 1 pm, let’s check my email. Loading…and…you have 6 unread messages. Look at the new 6 messages, of course, they are all spam and promotional emails. Disappointment begins to set in. Now, I begin to question my talent. “Am I a good reporter?….Do I have what it takes to make it?…Am I ever going to get to the top?…Why do I keep failing?…What am I missing?”

I drop down to my knees and started praying. Lord, did I make the right decision. I left a salary paying job to pursue my dream. Despite the fact I was not happy, I still had a consistent income and a roof over my head that I never worried about losing.

Although I am trying not to become more depress and unambitious, I am still sending out my resume. I really hope this is what I was called to do!

Talkers, how many of you are in a similar boat and feel like your career or life is on a dark path?

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7 replies »

  1. I can definitely understand this feeling of disappointment – especially when you are making a huge sacrifice in order to follow your passions.
    I have been sending emails (resumes) to companies and gyms in a bigger city I am hoping to move to for the expanding of myself and to be someplace new and growth & while I have had some good offers, they all expect me to already be in the area. I just assume that if I get the job, I would be able to move , etc but that doesn’t seem like an option with these places .. not now anyways. Part of me wants to pack up and go but what is the point when I may or may not be able to get the job once moving there and then I have to worry about my living circumstances = stress and anxiety. I know I have take risk and I have some money saved up, but the type of risk I am willing to take I am weighing my options. I have prayed about it, and I think God wants me to wait, not to put myself in bad hardships.

    Anyways, what kind of reporter do you want to be? a news reporter? journalist for a newspaper? I am interested. Do you write for editors as of now that have their own sites? I was doing that for awhile and thought about going back to it for extra funds & because I enjoyed it but finding time is the fun part, finding time is what would need to happen in order for me to do that on the side again. Although, I want to make my blog into a profession, and not just a hobby. I want to have my full time job being a personal trainer, but also have a blog profession on the side, the best of both worlds 🙂

    I believe in you, don’t stop believing in yourself , xo

    Shay-lon

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! I know exactly how you feel. I moved here without a job and now I am in hardship. I used to be an entertainment reporter but I personally did not feel I was giving back to the world in a positive manner. Now I look for paid writing gigs as an inspirational or lifestyle writer but I do not know how or where to start looking for those gigs. If I can do that on the side for extra income and continue to grow my podcast and blog….life would be great. I am sincerely just working on faith and prayer waiting for him to open up a door.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I now know I am not alone. I appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know how you feel. It can be so stressful looking for work, depending on others. It’s one of the reasons I’m still at my safe, secure, awful job. But it can and will lead to amazing things! Try to think of some alternative ways you could make some money to get you through… eventually the right job will be there for you. Keep the faith! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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