Hey, hey, hey!
I know I have been gone for a while. Honestly, risking it all to move to California has been taking a toll on my life. To see that I sacrificed a good life to come live in misery must sound crazy to a lot of people. What many do not understand is that I do not see my self-being happy in anything I do, unless it is something I’ve been called to do. And that is being a reporter and an entrepreneur, basically Oprah. Working for other people has never been my destiny. Since a young age, I always saw myself walking into an office with my name on the top of the building.
It’s funny how there are days I cry myself to sleep and ask, what the fuck am I doing? The answer always comes back, striving to be on top! Being in an industry or living a lifestyle that only 1% of the population gets to enjoy is a lifelong dream of mine. Moving to California has been showing me that I am not the only one striving for that dream. I am seriously a needle in a haystack. There are many who are prettier, smarter, and more experience than I am. Sending over 200 emails a day containing my resume, headshot, and cover letter do not guarantee a call or response back for an interview. Silence is all I have been hearing. But I can’t stop! Nothing in my body, mind, or soul is telling me to give up. However, I still have those demons that tell me I will never make it.
Spoke to my mom today. She knows how big I see my birthday. (Oh yeah, my birthday is tomorrow, Nov. 4th.) Not being able to enjoy it the way I normally do; big parties, trips, dinners, etc… has been taking a toll on me. Instead, I have been trying to figure things out before that day arrive. The day I used to see as a glorious day has been feeling like the day of doom.
My mom continues to tell me, do not worry about your career. God already has my name written on something big. If it is yours, no one can take it. It will be there waiting for you. Just keep going!
Mhmmm, a mother just knows exactly what to say.
After listening to her, I was asked to write a blog post about this book I had to read in 24 hours. (Never done that before!) After writing the post, my message to the audience was #STARTSOMETHINGNEWTODAY. I decided to follow my own advice. Today I am going to try and write to you all, daily and post on iGO live.
Let’s see how long that last! Ha!